(After Joan Crawford, the nickname my mother gave herself)
Here you are
ringed with pearls
in your lace-lined casket.
Lovely lavender outfit
sister Tena gave you,
hair done just so.
The gold band and diamond wedding ring
you always wore,
symbolic of the covenant
that gave you
husband family financial security,
but not much joy.
Handcrafted wooden cross in your right hand,
on your left the copper bracelet
w/the religious icons from nephew Kyle.
He was with you at the end.
I wasn’t.
He held your hand and soothed you,
told you how we loved you.
What do I say to your dead body?
This body that gave me life.
Your first most-difficult born.
I squeeze your hand,
thank you for giving me life
and for marrying the “wrong” man
so I could be born uniquely me -
a noble sacrifice,
though I doubt you ever knew that.
Here I am, Mom,
brushing against you
with my softest lips
kissing your sweet face,
sweeter than it was to me in life,
goodbye
dearest
mommie.
Goodbye.
Chocolate Waters is a continuously evolving radical feminist poet and celebrant of the new power of the feminine. She currently conducts workshops for women and seniors on finding the unique truth and beauty in our poetry. Her latest book, Muddying the Holy Waters, (Eggplant Press) is now available on Amazon and her website www.chocolatewaters.com is being re-vamped and will reappear soon.